Tomorrow is a new day, just as yesterday was. I've decided I must make an honest attempt at living my life. For weeks now all I've been doing is ponderng my life and clinging to memories of the past. "It's a poor sort of memory that only works backwards." 'Tis true. If you live long enough in the past then you miss all of the future. Coming to terms with how I've shaped my life won't always be easy. I know now that when I truely care for someone, allowing myself to make reckless descisions isn't the best way to test my feelings for that person. I've got a lot to learn and a lot more mistakes to make. I can say the month I spent with him was not one of them, but wasting the last few weeks most certainly was. I know I'll miss him for a good part of the summer, and when I return to school in the fall, the campus will randomly remind me of him. I will not allow myself to be sad any longer. I will not allow myself to talk myself into giving up. I'm a fighter. I take risks. I took a risk on loving him and I took a risk on pushing it to the limit. I will continue to take risks as I enjoy my summer and start my senior year of college. He will not be the last person I love nor care about. I will not focus on the negatives of my life. I will embrace my mistakes and move forward. My last couple of entries clearly show my rollercoaster of emotions, but I'm not sorry for the way I feel. I write what I feel and right now I'm putting all that shit behind me and looking into the sunset waiting for the sun to rise on a new day. I will go to more auditions this summer. I will do more photoshoots. I will get my choreography into a Boston show. I will have the best summer that I can.
Risk more than others think is safe. Care more than others think is wise. Dream
more than others think is practical. Expect more than others think is possible.
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