Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.

Gah, I'm so fucking over this shit. I don't understand you anymore. I don't understand my feelings for you anymore. Currently I just want to bitch you out, hit you, but at the same time I cry so much about you that I just want to cuddle into your arms. Clearly things in my life are fucked up. I was talking to my best friend about you. I was saying how I couldn't let myself spend my entire summer obsessing over you, when nothings going to happen. Her simple response, "I think you should find someone now." If only things were simmple. I won't lie, there's a part of me that hopes you could forgive me and be with me. But you're stubborn and you have some sort of moral issue with me. Clearly you don't have a big enough issue to spend a night with me, but mutliple nights not so much. Gah you make me so angry I want to cry or punch a wall. You never fucking answered my question last night...why? Why can't you fucking forgive me? Why can't you change your mind about me? Why the fuck am I someone who simply made a stupid mistake that seems to be the only fucking person suffering? They're fucking dating, blissful in their hate for me and you have this power over me and the way I feel about myself. Why? I fucking hate this. Stop telling me to be easy on myself and then tell me how much you care about me. You can't have it both ways. I don't want to lose you, but I don't want to lose my mind either. I really just don't know what to fucking do anymore. "This isn't a second chance." Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. I want to hate you right now, but I can't. I fucking can't. You hold me up to moral ideas, but what about what the fuck you've done in the past. That doesn't count, right? Of course not, not even on the same level. Yeah, whatever. Everything's a grey matter. Today's just an angry day, when I want to give you up, but I know in several hours I go back to cuddling into your t-shirt and wishing you'd change your mind.