Dating as a Dancer

I have always struggled with loving my art and finding love itself. A great quote from Lady Gaga describes my thoughts on the subject, "Some women choose to follow men, and some women choose to follow their dreams. If you're wondering which way to go, remember that your career will never wake up and tell you that it doesn't love you anymore."

For me that concept rings so true, but at the same time I strongly believe in the romantic concept of love, that you'll always be there for each other regardless. So you can understand how torn I am. I don't want to compromise my dream/career for love, but I don't want to live a life alone. Which brings me to the woes of dating as a dancer (or any performer really).

In high school, I never went on dates because I spent 5 nights a week at the studio (mon-fri) and weekends if I wasn't rehearsing for the Nutcracker, dance competitions, actually at dance competitions...I was at home relaxing or attempting to have a social life by hanging with friends. My first date was in college as a Freshman...I didn't know it was a date until I got to the movies, so yeah. Then I lost my virginity to a friend later that year. Still no boyfriend. My life was filled with classes, homework, and rehearsals. Junior year of college I got to experience a friends with benefits situation, interesting to say the least, and of course senior year I was "seeing" someone for the majority of it. First proper date was with that person and by then we'd already slept together...and to be honest, I was never nervous on our dates cause we both knew each other so well and we knew how the night was gonna end. And after that relationship ended, I went on my first date with someone I didn't know. Had the second date and chose to never see him again. And then arrives the present time and the new guy. First date with him was comfortable, but then again the texting almost every day for month before it probably helped. And still no boyfriend...which, at the age of 22, doesn't really upset as much as it did when I was 16. However, I must admit that I figured by now I would have at least had one or two under my belt. Ehh, whatever.

My problem with this whole dating thing though is the explaining I'm a dancer part. I remember when I was talking to the first guy after the ex, let's call him Rob (I never really found out if his online  handle was indeed his name). I met him through this free dating site I'm on and I remember quite clearly one of the conversations we had on there...
Rob: "So what did you do in college?" (btw says it on my profile)
Me: "I majored in dance. So I spent a lot of time in rehearsals and performing and stuff."
Rob: "When you say dance, please tell me you don't mean a stripper."

What the fuck? Really? Can you fucking MAJOR in stripping at a college? You know what, I don't think you can. But he wasn't the only guy on that site that thought that...and then most of the other guys just assumed I was ballerina. I've realized that almost all men I will date post grad will not understand what it is to date a dancer until we are months into the relationship. They're not like my ex who dated three dancers at my college or my fuck buddy who was friends/slept with a lot of dancers. They understood rehearsals will always run late, that I be exhausted after taking  dance classes, I have to travel to auditions, I will break down crying from being rejected at an audition or having a bad class, every ache and pain in the body is a possible career ender, sweat pants are my every day wear when I'm dancing, I will listen to a song on repeat for hours. They just understood things like that and these new guys don't, which I understand will take time, but...ugh.

So I went a date with this new guy and he loves that I'm a dancer and is always asking me how rehearsals are going. It's nice to have someone remember when I'm rehearsing and teaching. And then there's this other guy, who texts me at the worst times to ask to hang out...always when I'm teaching or rehearsing and then making little jokes about me teaching him "how to dougie" or am I lying about having rehearsal...Fuck you. He makes me so mad that sometimes that I don't even want to go on a fucking date with him...

Sometimes I feel like it would be a less frustrating life to just not date, to be alone and suffer through the heartbreak, woes, and betrayals of love. And then I realize how much of an empty life that would be. I don't like having to explain why I am so developmentally behind in my love life because when I was "supposed to be" enjoying my youth and experiementing, I was in a studio dancing. I don't want to have to explain that I'd rather spend my birthday in NYC taking classes all day or that what I want for Christmas is a new leotard. I spent so much of the beginning of college trying to detach myself from being a dancer and doing other things, because I didn't want to be that dancer with her room decorated with pictures of otther dancers...I still don't. I am so much more than a dancer but I am also a dancer. I'm not like some of my friends that can just bounce from a guy to guy and have a feeling I will never be that girl...