Time Passes...

I'm afraid. Here's a list of things that I'm afraid of right now: failing. being alone. letting my parents down. not making it in the dance world. losing my friends. regretting things. feeling empty. moving on. my senior year. graduate school. moving away from home. screwing up another relationship. giving up on my dreams. allowing others to walk over me. losing my edginess. not being able to pay back my student loans. not getting into dance company, again. not getting my choreography in a show. being blamed for things out of my hands. letting people slip through my fingers. The list in my head just goes on and on. I have to accept the fact that I am in control of my life and choices. Time passes. It always keeps moving. Just because I think it's the end of the world, doesn't mean that it really is. Sure things may not be grand for a bit, but it can't always stay that way. I have to try to stay positive, even if t means leaving the negative things I love in the past. I only live once and I don't want to screw this up. I want to make a name for myself. I want to settle down with someone. I want to raise a little girl and teach her about the world. I want to grow old and watch my grandchildren graduate from high school. I want to live a long life worth living. I never want to settle or give up. I don't want to be afraid of the things that I am. I don't want to be another number, I want to be remembered.