I'll hug Hi Kitty...

It's been a very long time since I've posted anything. My life has been a hetic mess. And at this moment I'm feeling very sad. It's hard for me to admit this, but I didn't exactly realize how muched I missed someone until I spent the weekend with them. It was only when I got home I realized how alone I feel here. I know I will see them sometime soon again, but I can't shake this feeling. Being home in general makes sad, depressed. Ever since I've started school. Is it because I don't feel like I belong here anymore? Or is it that everyone I love and care about it so far away from me, spread out across the country? I use to think it was the clutter of the house that made me so upset and hate living here, but now I'm starting to think it's because there are other places I'd rather be then here. Or maybe because I didn't return to work this break, I've spent too much time in my room alone.....thinking. Lord knows I'm my own worst enemy when I have too much isolatred time to myself. All I can think right now is that, "I'm never gonna see everyone again." I know it's not true though. Tomorrow I'll see Britt at the gym, and hopefully I'll be seeing Kristin today or even sometime this week. I have no reason to be crying. I had a wonderful weekend with a person that means a lot to me, I live in a nice house, I'm enrolled in college, I have friends. But why do I feel so alone? I can't hold back the tears anymore. I thought last night when I cried before falling asleep, that that would be the end of this feeling, clearly I was wrong. Maybe the problem is, that in my room at my house I have no memories of my closests friends. In this world of my room, they don't exist because they've never been here. Could that be it? Or could this overwhelming feeling just be a reaction to my horomones acting up? I guess the issue right now is that I miss everyone and no matter how hard I cry that isn't going to change anything. I will see people soon, it's not the end of the world....it won't be the end of the world. I'll surivive even if I find that hard to believe right now.